You know those days when everything is off by a centimeter or an inch or a nanosecond. Today was one of those days. All clouded by the letter I wrote last night and then the dream that followed.
1. The dream. I was in love with Britney Spears’ brother. She doesn’t have a brother though. She was the symbol, the omen – the red flag. But she died in the dream. So the red flag was gone and it was just me and him. Tall, dark, handsome, big eyes. Benjamin woke up before I could finish…so a cliff hanger started my day and I felt like I’d landed in the Twilight Zone.
2. Match.com. I get a free account. They’re giving me one. The e-mail came this morning. Weird. Is he on there? Why do I care? I’ll try it out.
3. The man in the shop. Benjamin and I dropped the car off for a long overdue oil change. The man in the shop looked at my bare left ring finger and for the first time I encountered one of those guys who thinks single moms are “easy.” But I wasn’t in a bar and I wasn’t drunk so I was just offended and mildly creeped out. He knows my address. They take your address for some reason. I’m becoming more paranoid now that I’m a mother and it just gets worse as he gets older and more vulnerable to not just the physical, but the emotional.
4. Asshole in the street. Benjamin and I had to walk home from the car shop. And as we were crossing a busy street (I had him in my arms) the walk sign switched to the flashing red hand. Then a driver, turning left through our cross walk rolled down his window and said, “It says no walking, Asshole.”
And yes, I said HIS window. A man called Benjamin and I an Asshole. Well, I guess he just called me an Asshole but my child heard it. I stopped dead in my tracks (the light was red I was safe) spun my body around and caught the driver’s eye just in time to throw him a glare that has made grown men shudder before. I didn’t even need to say a word…and Benjamin was none the wiser. I spent the rest of the walk home wondering what in the hell is wrong with this world while I clutched Benjamin’s tiny little hand.
5. Benjamin pooped in the bath. Yep. First time ever. It was horrible. That’s all I can really say about that. Potty training casualty or bad mommy? Not really sure. Either way it sucked. I didn’t tell him that though. Didn’t want to make him feel guilty. You only get to smear poop on the walls of a shower once in your life, right? Why ruin it for him?
6. YouTube loves us. Tonight I had three friend or subscription requests in my YouTube account. Three may not sound like a lot to you … but by YouTube standards (for me anyway) that was pretty cool. Then I checked out the stats on Morgan and I’s Single Mom Dating video – it’s had over 700 collective views. One of my friend requests was from a single mom who made a YouTube video calling out her child’s dead beat father. Watch it here.
7. I skipped Must Love Kids. Too busy. How will the show make it if single moms are too busy to watch it? Damn. I loved the first episode though.
8. Benjamin is in my bed. He wanted to sleep there tonight. I let him because his tooth is hurting him. Damn it. It will probably be pulled Thursday (we have a dentist appointment anyway). No front teeth for Benjamin until he’s what 5 or 6 – maybe even 8. I am going to take a lot of pictures tomorrow. We had our first real conversation tonight. We talked about Elephants, Monkeys and Daddys. What do you tell a 2.4 year old when he asks where his daddy is? Then he pretended to tuck me into bed and all of that Daddy talk seemed utterly pointless.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tagged: dead beat dad, man on the street, must love kids, oddities, raymond smiley, relationships, single mom, single mom video, single mother
1. WELL. That’s interesting!
2. Oh man, I can’t wait to hear the stories that come from this.
3. Oy, that’s uncomfortable. And yeah, less comfort knowing that the guy knows your address and probably your cell number.
4. I have no words.
5. Okay, soooo, I *know* that that isn’t funny. I know this. But really? Sort of hilarious.
6. You rock, youtube star!
7. The irony of it – that single moms may be too busy to watch – good point. heh.
8. I hope that tooth stops hurting. Poor little man, with a sore mouth. As for the question of daddys…yeah. I wish I had the first idea on that one.
I read the blog you linked to on Twitter – mattlogelin.com. Man, that’s some powerful stuff. I dig the pictures, too. The passport entry got me.
Thanks for sharing your “odd” day… so many moments, so little time to blog! You must keep us posted on the Match.com… been there, done that… can’t wait to hear your funny experiences, it has entertainment value at least (do I sound bitter?)
The good news is, Britney Spears does have a brother. He’s older than her, and his name is Brian. And he is talk, dark, and handsome! I think you’re onto something with your dream.
What??? OMG. She does not! No way – totally symbolic though I would NEVER marry into that family. : )
LOl…a dream is a dream is a dream honey…whatever THAT means!
As for that RUDE man…pedestrians ALWAYS have the right of way so who’s the REAL a$$hole now!?!
Pooping in the bath…I have visions of that chocolate bar in the pool movie…was it National Lampoons Vacation?
“What do you tell a 2.4 year old when he asks where his daddy is?”…honey..been there, done that, not as hard as you’d think, just stay age appropriate. ” Daddy’s at his house probably sleeping!…just like you should be young man…giggle” (diverting further questions for the time being)
Beth- Wow someone with more Britney Spears Trivia than me? Do you visit Britneyspy.com?
Ms. Single Mama- A dude called you an asshole? WHAT AN ASSHOLE! Seriously, dude take your xanax.
My flat iron came last night!!!! YAYYY its so awesome!
LMM – Good, that’s what I’ve been doing. I just say, “Daddy loves you and Daddy’s at this house tonight.” Then, yes, change the subject to tickles or fun.
Pisces – SO glad it finally came.
Random – Yes, the poop thing was slightly hysterical – after it was cleaned up – but during. OMG. The link to Matt’s blog for everyone else is here. Yep, that blog will change your life if you let it …
http://www.mattlogelin.com/if-you-havent-been-here-before/
I don’t think you missed much with Must Love Kids. NEXT week is the show to watch–the dates get introduced to the kids. It never ceases to amaze me the general level of a-holery of people who call other people (especially a parent + child) an a-hole.
Slim dropped a deuce in the tub once too. it totally looked like a chicken nugget. I’ve done diapers, cleaned up vomit, no problems with gushing blood, but the nasty nugget grossed me out. I pulled the plug and mashed it down the drain with Curious George(don;t worry I did remember to clean george…eventually).
:%ACK%:
It’s comforting to know that we all have days where our mercury is in retrograde. (Something an old boss used to say)
When you set the coffee cup on the edge of the table, some days it will stay put… and some days it falls off and spills all over the floor.
I live in New England – little old ladies have called me names when I’m trying to be polite waiting for them to pull out of a parking space. It’s rough out there sometimes! But for every MORON calling you names as you cross the street, there are that many more nice people that will smile at you. And remember, a jerk yelling obscenities at you has everything to do with their pathetic life and nothing to do with your wonderful one!
Guess what?
Britney Spears DOES have a brother! I don’t know what that means about the dream, but if it makes you feel any better she appears in my dreams a lot…as my best friend. What does THAT mean?
Your odd day is strangely beautiful. Like a Lawrence Ferlinghetti poem.
And one last thing: Way to go us for the You Tube video! All I can say, is when can we make more!?
Don’t you just wonder, on those days when it seems like men see someone other than you, and THEY’RE LOOKING RIGHT AT YOU, that maybe you’re on another planet? I know I do.
Ugh… experienced the poop in the bath WAY more than I’d like to talk about.
I agree with littlemansmom on the answer to the daddy in question. They don’t need to know all the crap we’d like to say.
Tomorrow will be better, I just know it!!