Hi There!! So glad you found my blog… but it has moved – please visit me here at my new site!
Prince Charming can kiss my ass.
I am a 29 year old, divorced single mom. I left my husband when my son was just four months old. I started this blog one year later.
During that first year, I was hunting – searching for someone to rescue me. And then something happened. I sucked it up and opened my eyes … realizing that I didn’t need a man at all, I just wanted one. There’s a big difference.
When you are a single mom, juggling a full-time job and raising a munchkin – it’s hard to find time to paint your toenails, let alone go out on a date. We don’t have time for rules or drama. We also look at men differently. They could look hot in that pair of jeans but will they be a good father? Would they be a good husband?
This isn’t easy. There aren’t any clear answers. We can’t make it all go away but we can make it better – piece by piece, day by day. And in the meantime we can keep each other company.
Thanks for reading and please e-mail me with any questions or issues you’d like me to write about.
mssinglemama@gmail.com
MY VIRTUAL HELLO
POSTS YOU MIGHT LIKE
- Dating advice for single moms and for the men who fall in love with us.
- E-Harmony and other online dating reviews for the single mom.
- Like all women, single moms have to kiss a lot of frogs to find a prince.
- When do you tell him that you’re a single mom?
- When do you introduce him to the kids?
- You may get burned and then get back up again.
- Did I lose my Mr. Good Enough?
- Want men to start falling from the sky?
- And that marriage isn’t always the answer…obviously. : )
You go Ms. Single Mama! I love your new blog. Congrats. I’m adding you to my Blog Roll now… here’s to sisterhood among single moms!
P.S. You’re beautiful, too.
Congrats and I support you as we raise our children as Single Moms!
Thanks Ms. Single Mom Seeking (Rachel)! You, of course, were the inspiration and are the goddess of single motherhood.
I applaud you Ms. Single Mama!
I too believe there is nothing a woman can’t do especially when she is driven by the love of her child.
My alter ego “Mia” blogs about the weaker moments and darker sides of single motherhood . Lots of juicy, humorous and/or scandelous escapades to tell… But in all seriousness I believe that despite the trials and tribulations and Jerry Springer-esqe moments we all go through, single moms are definitely some of the strongest and best people on earth!
Love your posts very much! Very human and I could relate to the inner chaos that happens sometimes inside. Im adding you to my blogroll.
hey there, just found your blog. Nice work. Your fans may be interested in “Sex and the Single Mom,”–my dating and relationship guide that came out last year from Ten Speed Press. Nice to see more of us joining the conversation. And thanks for the words of wisdom around e-harmony, a site I like to call e-vil.
Cheers,
Sharon
glad i just discovered you. i’ll be back often.
single mom with tiny tot
Just stumbled on your blog and will check back often. Love your honesty & agree with everything I’ve read so far. Nice to read the thoughts of a single mom that are honest, but don’t dwell on the “why me???” aspects. Many times, divorce & single parenting is the most positive experience we and our children can go through.
I’m a single mom to a 2yr old. Similar situation…I knew I was leaving when I was 12 weeks pregnant. Abusive. Refused to live that way. I hid too much. I am thriving with my child. I am thriving doing it by myself.
Hi there:
On Saturday January 12, 2008, I officially became a single mother of NO ONE under 18. Know what? It doesn’t matter, because as long as you and they are alive, you will always care, worry, cook, laugh, etc. My son is 25 and my baby just turned 18 yesterday. I have been single since my daughter was 4 monthsold. Her father has never contacted or seen her since that date. Says alot doesn’t it?
Asking him to leave is the best decision I ever made.
Its an adventure isn’t it?
May I add you to my blog?
Annette
Thank you all for your votes of confidence…makes my day, every day to know that there are so many of us out there…enjoying and making the best of our single parent adventures.
And yes, Annette, I’d love to be added to your blogroll…
Rock on, woman. I’m no single mom, but this dad finds your writings inspiring.
Love your stuff, seriously.
-Clark
Thanks Clark!!! That’s so sweet.
Rachel Sarah at Single Mom Seeking told me about your blog. I really like it and wanted to tell you about my single-dad blog. My memoir about raising my kids alone is coming out next month with Rodale, Bedtime Stories: Adventures in the Land of Single-Fatherhood. I am very proud of it and would love to hear what you think.
Take care,
Trey Ellis
Tks Trey!!! I’ve heard about your book…sounds amazing. I have also read your blog, very interesting stuff. Make sure you let me know the day it comes out so I can post a reminder.
Hi,
Thanks for featuring us on your blog. I love your writing and am trying to get in touch with you directly. Can you send me an email with your contact information if you are interested.
thanks
Sherri
Thanks for leaving a comment on my new site and putting me on your blog roll – yay – you’re one of the first! It’s so nice to be able to connect with smart moms like yourself, who are on the same crazy, wonderful trip called single parenthood. Keep up the great posts!
Good people deserve great things…….and you seem to be deserving.
It’s very nice to see a women that “survived” a less than perfect relationship and is willing to share the details of her life as she moves on. You serve as an inspiration for some and an enigma for others. Either way, I just wanted to thank you for “putting yourself out there”.
I’m sure that others will draw the positives from your life and not concentrate on the negatives of their life. That makes you a good example and we can’t have enough of those these days.
Good luck in the coming days and know this……..good men are still out there. Don’t stop looking for them
Glenn
I have great respect for you all single moms. Salute.
can’t believe i stumbled across this! will be a great resource for me as a single mother and college student!
You just gave me another way to de-stress! GO mamas!!!
)
What a pleasure reading your blog is!
Check out my blog, I hope it helps Abby. My heart breaks for her, as I am completely empathetic. *Hugs* to you both.
I’m a big Ms. Single Mama fan. Love your blog. As a single dad I don’t always agree with you, but I do respect what you have to say. And I like how you say it!
Hi there! Love your blog and in ways feel like I’m looking in a mirror. Come visit me at Storked! on Glamour.com
XO,
Chrissy, of Chrissy and JD
http://www.glamour.com/lifestyle/blogs/pregnant
Ok, I’m officially hooked!
I’ve just discovered you, so I have a LOT of reading to do when The Mook is in bed or with her dad. From what I have read, I think our baby’s dads may have been separated at birth…
I love the blog A!!! You have such a great writing style! Before I know it, I think I will see you on tv…
Famous-A!!!
super cool!
Um, lets see… The only word I would put in is that it seems like advertising yourself as a single mother is much more demanding as a statement than merely asserting your name and from there on talking or sharing accordingly.
When men read this, a lot of us are very insecure about the title. It would be so different to come to the title that says… hi, Im rachel. Explaining to us parts of your life and along the way sharing with us that you have a son and maybe nothing at all about your relationship status. Why even tell us that you are single? You are beautiful, so… this is one of the first things people are conditioned to expect.
THOUGHT BUBBLE : ( where the hell is the husband!? She is not saying husband!? Hey!–okay… time to listen to every word you say!!!…Yeah… you are not saying husband… but Im sure he’s just on some working holiday…no… she is way too pretty to be single! )
People who really care in that they might be looking for you as an opportunity, will analyze you enough to figure out why you are here, why you have so much information about yourself up… if you are married. People will realize that you are single when you do not mention your husband’s name.
Put more videos of yourself up, if you want to attract men. More videos and more pictures. Live videos like this one… not just you, but also with friends and being active! Showing people that you are happy says a lot! And part of our conditioned mind says that happy people are this with people.
Imagine if you had come to someone’s blog that said…
“”HEY………I AM IN-DEBT DEBBIE!!!!”"
I do not at all mean to suggest that being in debt is like having children…no of course not! but what I am saying is that this is a personal aspect of your life that unfairly stresses responsibility when people really would just like to know your name. I think this may turn more men off then it attracts. Obviously, we are going to find out if you have children, and I am not at all saying… maybe hide him for a while. No. Its just like what I said above, “Hey… I am home-owner bob…” Why not just … bob? It sounds as if bob is a fanatic or overly proud … Unless it is a commerical, but… its not.
Its your life.
I can relate to the idea that you are here, using this as an outlet, as I understood in your video post. I can relate to that, and I am happy you said it. It explained…why you were apparently so focused on being single. And despite its funciton in your life, regardless of how you act aside the site… this is just what I wanted to say–as my one word becomes its usual page–that it seems like you are very focused on being single. And maybe this contributes to staying single? For example, I do not see any guy statements on this page, but instead all single-mom comments. In this, its like you are relating not to men ( as I would think is at some point your natural intent ) but instead to people who are in the same life as you.
Why not be more casual about it?
I know being single is really… just…not what we want at times–despite the upsides of it, as well–but by focusing so much on it, by speaking and blogging and picturing single single single… blink blink blink… single single single…well, not that there is an ultimate right way to date for all people everywhere, but I think that one of the best ways to really get someone you like is being around that person habitually. [ one of the best ways--which says that of course it is not the only way ]
I feel like, if I met you in real life… in your first ten sentences… I heard single mother six times.
Anyways, if you do not agree.. well… I felt like you were confident in yourself, and that is pleasant.
Also, I did not see any hate comments up, but instead some compliments, and of course just like women, men love that!
Good luck, Rachel.
Tks Rachel. When I started this blog I wrote only about single motherhood. Now it’s taking on a life of it’s own and I’m realizing that there’s a lot to write about … not just the fact that I’m a single mother but the fact that I’m a single woman.
And I think you’re absolutely right … I love being single and will likely stay single because I love it so much. Damn it. Oh well. I really am not looking for men. Seriously.
Good advice! And I’ll work on those additional videos as soon as I get a free second – which is never. Hence the lag between videos. : )
no, my name is justin… I wrote rachel because I thought this to be your name…
SO funny. I thought you were a man…but then though you signed, Rachel.
I have an entire post about meeting guys … and deciding when to drop the single mom bomb. You can read it here:
http://mssinglemama.wordpress.com/2007/11/06/when-do-you-tell-him-youre-a-single-mom/
just wanted to let my blog is on the privates right now…will be backat a later date…probably after june 24th
I LOVE your blog! I have found it to be so inspiring! Thank you for offering to share your thoughts with all of us other “single moms’ out there….I hope you don’t mind but I’ve added you to my list of reads on my blog!
Have a great day!
wow, on second vist; intending on seeing your video one more time, I can now really see from a clearer perspective that you are merely showing us your life.
I did not mean to sound so assertive as an observer, nor like a rambling blabber-mouth. I was just surprised because I had an impression of your having built up a pretty deep avatar about being single. I was surprised because it seemed like, by saying single, you were simultaneously saying that you wanted to be with someone, and or then that you were looking for someone. You know? Like in the newspapers, we have all heard about the “Single adds”, in which people put up their selection of lines to date. Or, if you meet someone that says, “yeah, I have a single friend” — we’re quite conditioned to think that this friend is then looking to date. I guess this is what struck me most about your post, at first. This is why I gave all that advice, which obviously could have easily been percieved as being way to ‘telling’.
You seem to give off a really positive energy, as personalities go…! And that you record your life like this, is really great! I hope something special comes of it for you, above and beyond its daily normalcy, that is!
Being single is great, yes! Though, not always easy. Sometimes it is, as the word suggests, lonely.
Hey Alaina! Ms.Single Mama superstar =)
I forgot to tell you I added you to my blog roll a while back…maybe some day I’ll make yours too, thats a very impressive line up you got =) Thanks for adding iHeartSingleParents there!
You are the superstar! And now you’re on my blogroll. I LOVE your blog. Love your social network too…brilliant!
Polisny – thanks!! I knew when you had first visited and commented that perhaps, you hadn’t read my musings on how much I love being single – so no worries. Glad to have you reading and commenting!
And yes – funny how people think singles always don’t want to be single – quite the opposite sometimes.
mssinglemama is also quite a hottie.
well msm…it’s ‘ Tracy ‘…..and I moved ( as per your suggestion) and I made sure you are STILL on my blogroll (and didn’t make any tranfer blunders! LOL) I’m soooooo NOT very computer literate! Oi!
my new home… http://littlemansmom.wordpress.com
I adore your new look…keep up the wonderful work of being and awesome inspiration!
You said it well, I can definitely relate! I will be checking out your world from time to time now that I’m a fan!
Hey there!
Found you while surfing…
I’m a single parent too! But the real reason why I stopped to say hello is that maybe you would be interested in some entertainment. ..I just published a book called, Guy Talk, Girl Talk by Sal Marino. It’s a Funism Book all about sex humor and some other amusing stuff. I’m sure you’ll get a kick out of it.
Have a look at my website: http://www.salmarinoauthor.com.
If you want a copy of the book, follow the links…
Cheers, Have Fun!
Sal
hawt
what a small/crazy world. as a newly-single dad (in cols, no less), i truly appreciate your blog. reading it has been like reliving the last 6 mos — and the next 6, im sure — on fast forward.
so, yeah. thanks.
Hi Miss single Mama. When I read: Prince Charming can kiss my ass. It made me laugh so hard.
It’s true. There is no Prince Charming.
I hope my single friends would read your blog so that they’d see that being a single mom isn’t bad and it isn’t about finding someone but being happy in your own situation.
Happy Father’s Day!! I’m a product of a single mother…and I don’t think single mother’s get half as much credit as they should…so, just wanted to say, that no matter how hard it is right now, one day you’re kids will thank you and will appreciate how hard you work to raise them…I know I did!
thats for the add to the blogroll, i’ll be sure to reciprocate.
I hope there were more people like you, because of your honesty and attitude toward life
Super cool virtual hello!
I think it’s great that you have this outlet and you get some helpful input, as well. Being a mother is hard enough. Being a single mother, harder still.
When I was dating as a young woman, I did look at men and wonder if they would make good fathers. I told my mother this once. She said, “Oh Teri, that’s all well and good, but at some point, the kids move away and you have to be sure that you have someone you have a real relationship with.” This was good advice.
Strangely, though, even though I met and married a man who is a good man and was basically a good father, after eighteen years of marriage, I left him. After that, his relationship with his children all but dissolved.
There definitely are good men to be found, as far as being a partner in the crime of raising children.
But they are very, very rare. In the meantime, just keep having fun and enjoy as much of little Benjamin’s life as you can!
Dont really know how I stumbled upon your blog, but was taken back by you life entries and the responses you got. I am a single dad of 2. The first a 4 yr old thats mine from a divorce and the second is my 8 yr old nephew who came to live with me a year ago. Your story hit home with me. After the first year of the big “D” I realized that I didnt need anyone, I am financially stable have a wonderful home a great job and 2 little blessings that I wanted devour with my time, but yes to truly want someone wow cant wait to meet her. Stay strong and always PMA (Positive Mental Attitude)