The man in the kitchen.

My ex-husband has a little problem. He won’t let his girlfriend’s 7-year-old son call him Dad. As a result, our son, who he has for just 36 hours a week is now calling him by his first name too. He’s mimicking his psuedo step-brother. So what’s a jerky ex-husband to do?
“Why don’t you just let him [...]

Obama Calls Out Dead Beat Dads

During a powerful Father’s Day speech Barack Obama called out dead beat dads and heralded us single moms for all of our hard work. I love this man, I truly do.
Raised by a single mother, I expect Obama will be very passionate on single parent issues if elected. On Friday he announced he would co-sponsor [...]

Caught on tape…my ex, his girlfriend and my son? Nope. He’s just crying in the background.

Okay. This is a tad horrifying.
Last week I offered my video camera to Benjamin’s father. He was also having a birthday party for him. I had videotaped my party for Benjamin, so why not give his dad a chance to do the same? Tonight I got the camera back and on it is a nice [...]

The Ex Factor

You rarely hear mention of him on my blog. Maybe because it usually breaks my heart to write about it. Maybe because I don’t want Benjamin to read this someday and think his father’s a lousy (enter superlative of your choice here). But now that Benjamin’s two…soon there will be questions which means Mommy needs [...]

He’s back.

Yesterday morning Benjamin’s father picked him up for his first overnight at Daddy’s in nearly two years. I kept myself busy all day shopping with my best friend. We are both single mothers and spent nearly three hours in one store! Shopping with no kids is truly a luxury. I came home to my empty apartment and couldn’t bear the loud silence. I am never, ever home without him here. I didn’t know what to do so I just tried to take a quick nap. I couldn’t sleep and just laid there thinking about how lonely and miserable my life would be without Benjamin. I remind myself of this every day but having 36 hours of child-free time made it really sink in.

On sharing a child.

After nearly two years my son’s father has taken him for his 36 hours of visitation. (Usually he watches him at my place) Right now there’s a pit in my stomach. Not of fear. I know he will take care of him…he is after all a good father and he does love his son [...]

My ex would make a lousy step father, according to a six year old.

On Christmas Eve Benjamin’s father came up to spend the day with us. In the late afternoon his girlfriend’s ex dropped off their six year old son so that my ex could take him back down south. They were meeting in the middle.

The boy was your average adorable 6 year old. When my ex was out of the room he looked up at me and said, “”if my mommy marries him, he’ll be my step-dad.” I said, “that would be nice wouldn’t it? Because he’s a fun guy.”

Then the boy said something that I’ll never forget.

His father wants to take him…I’m freaking out.

When I told my now ex-husband I was leaving him the first thing he argued about was the laptop computer. Then the video camera. Anything of monetary value. But, not once, not once did he fight for our son. I wanted him to. It got to the point that his complete apathy to the issue was actually a little shocking. Why wasn’t he worried about not seeing Benjamin? It’s been two years. Since then he has come only during his 36 hours of visitation. No more, no less. And he has always come to us - staying in our house.

Why I am a single mother.

The first time I thought of leaving my ex-husband I was just 8 weeks pregnant. He was unemployed again and spent his days parked on the couch without a care or worry. “I’ll get a job when I need to, just stop to talk,” he would say in his thick french accent that was no longer sexy, now it was just annoying. Then there was also his complete unwillingness to improve our relationship. But instead of leaving him, I kicked him out.

Daddy is coming back.

Well, it’s been six weeks since his car broke down. He called yesterday - telling me he’s 90% sure he’ll be here Monday and Tuesday to watch Benjamin. I’m actually nervous about leaving him alone with his own father. Isn’t that strange? It’s just that it’s been so long since they’ve spent time together. But, this is good. A boy does need his father and despite his complete irresponsibility the Ex has, with the exception of the last six weeks, been here every week since the divorce.